To Have Courage. To be a Coward.

Today I was reading a book on the subject of being afraid, the feeling of being a coward or being courageous. It is very interesting because both are considered by some, a feeling of being afraid. It is a quite complicated subject but it can be explained in simple way, or at least the way I could understand it seems to be very simple.



Basically, the difference between a coward or a courageous state of mind does not lie on the fact that the first is about being afraid and the second of being intrepid, both feel the same amount of fear. So where is the difference you might ask. The difference is that the courageous moves forward despite feeling afraid, whereas the coward freezes because of being afraid; both experience the same amount of fear. How can a courageous person not feel fear? He would have to be a machine not a human being. Only machines lack such feelings and how can you describe a machine of being afraid?



To be courageous only means that despite the fear, he can act, he can move. They utilize fear as a bridge and does not stop for the unknown. On the other hand, to be a coward means to stop, to be static, it destroys the essence, it destroys the possibility of resurrection.



Life is full of uncertainties; every step we take, every move we make is another step towards the uncertain. It's like a bet where nobody will know the results. But the fact of not knowing, the simple fact of stepping into the uncertain, the unknown, is just beauty at its core. If our lives were predictable, what's the fun in that? It would make no sense to be here, to live, to experience. We would not be human beings, we would be machines; there is certainty only for the machines. As human beings we are free, and freedom implies uncertainty and insecurity. We must be ready to respond, that is what "responsibility" is all about. It is not an obligation, it is our capacity to respond, to make decisions and to respond.



So why am I getting so deep into the matter? Very simple. I feel I made a decision that will impact my life. I feel I made a decision that will impact someone else's life. And it was not easy, I felt scared, I felt the uncertainty lying beneath myself; I was afraid, and by being afraid it will all pay off. It might pay off in the long term, but it will pay off. The courage inside me was able to beat the coward when I was presented with the uncertain, with the unknown. I stepped forward, I moved, I made a decision, I felt responsible. All this will help me to grow on the inside and more importantly, on the outside so I will have the ability to help others.



I have received messages from some friends telling me I was very courageous just by coming to this place. But let me tell you, and do not even hesitate for a second, you would've done the same thing! So guess what, we are already much the same, and I am very happy for that. I want to share with you all my thoughts in relation to my experience because even as yours might be different, all the principles are aligned; the courage and the coward inside us are present, and I know you will make the right decision. You will be responsible. And I feel the responsibility to share this with you.


Well, enough with life strategies, let's focus on the local events. Marujita had her spinal injection today, and she behaved like a champ. The needle for the IV went in pretty fast and she did not complain as much. The two sedatives did their job as she went almost numb immediately after they where supplied (one goes through the IV). The doctor said she took the spinal injection very good; she did not move nor complained during the procedure. I guess that leaves us with two more spinal injections for her before we start playing the waiting game. The next spinal will be given next Friday June 5TH, followed by the last one on June 10TH. That will leave her with a total of six spinal injections and one IV which if you remember, was the first one she took.

Our friend Mike from California just gave me another video which he took last Saturday at the zoo. This is not about feeding live birds to other animals, this is actually feeding the bears with carrots. This video is particular in that I threw a piece of carrot and the bear catches it in mid air, just as a trained dog. Take a look.

I truly appreciate all your support and constant messages of optimism. I can't say this enough. I am forever grateful to everyone for this, and I really want to thank you today.

Love you unconditionally, always and forever.

Tuto.38