A Moment of Thought and Hapiness

I would like to extend my gratitude to everybody for your messages of hope, positive energy and optimism. One comes to appreciate how important it has been this long (almost 38-year) process of gathering good friends, true friends and investing quality time with my family; let me just tell you, in times like this, it pays back. It pays back not because one can read all these messages, but when I'm not I feel you are right there behind me, supporting; I can feel you pushing me forward, and that is a great feeling.

I am a true believer that loneliness is not when you are actually by yourself, but rather when you are surrounded by people you don't know. If you come to think about this, it may sound quite particular in a way. When we got here, this place felt strange, strange as if you where in hell lacking all types of resources. You feel as if you've done something so wrong at some point, that now you are paying the price. And let me say, it is good to feel that way because without a point of comparison, how would we know how to separate the good from the bad, the black and white, the love and hate. Quoting Osho, he has a very interesting theory that you might find useful to practice in thought. He basically says (and I am not getting deep into his writings because I would need to stay here for a year) and it is very simple, that for one thing to exist, the opposite has to be present. For the light to exist, the dark has to be there. For love to be, hate must also be there. For the good to be, the bad has to be present. I experience loneliness because I know you are all there, and without friends and family like that, what is our real path to follow? With or with out you, I can't live, with or with out you.

We have met an incomparable group of people here, from all corners of the world, but all with the same mission. Everyone with their own problems, jobs, interests, but with a single common goal and that kind of positiveness and optimism keeps us in a state of inertia I have never felt before. I would like to share this feeling with you because I know we take things for granted; we have them right there and we just don't pay attention to it, or at least, we do not pay enough attention to it. We have to, we have to take that step forward in order to live a happy life because even though for happiness to exist, sadness has to be there too; I choose happiness.

Last night we went out with some of our friends here. We went to the city for a nice Chinese dinner (and the duck is so good) and for a night show at a place called West Lake. It was a spectacular exhibition of lights and colors, one you can only find in places like these. The show took place on a lake, and for our surprise, the whole act took place above the water. Just as if gravity is not present, more than 300 people where dancing and acting on top of the surface. Just as if everyone adopted Jesus Christ's ability to walk on water. But there where boats too, boats floating in the water and moving amongst these weightless people. It was an amazing experience one can only live by being there. The play was in Chinese. The songs they sang, the dialogs, the whole thing. For some particular reason, I understood the plot and not because I understand the language, of course I don't, but because of the fact that I came to this place with an open mind and open thought. I came to this place full of positiveness and optimism and I was right there and then, open. Open to a culture we will not get to fully understand, even if you consider yourself a historian because it doesn't matter how much theory you have explored looking for answers, you can not put this into practice.

The feeling is strange, weird almost. We are not here to visit, we are not here as tourists with our cameras hanging around our necks and our hands full of shopping bags. We did not come here to have fun or to play, or to go out and enjoy. As I sat on the dinner table around our friends (we where a total of 10) I thought of that. I have done this before, on a cruise, visiting Europe, anywhere for that matter, not this time, so it fell strong. For the first time in my life, I think I did something for a reason, or at least I went somewhere for a reason. You could just sit right there, close your eyes and see the other side; the "good" other side I mean. The purpose, the matter, the reason, that I saw. It feels good in a very strange and particular way because like with any first experiences we don't know exactly how to manage them. It would be common sense to wait and process and evaluate but no, it just happened right there in that very moment.

So we ate the duck, drank the beer, enjoyed the conversation. A group of unknown souls bonding in a way most of us could not imagine. We made it through and we made it through in a very good mood. No bad thoughts or intentions where going through any body's mind, just positive energy and excessive amounts of optimisms, we where really happy.

I would like for you to put this into practice, but I'm not asking you to come all the way down here, please don't, ever. What I am asking though, is for you to feel every moment has a matter, a true meaning in life. And the only way I believe we can achieve this, is by just bursting out positive thoughts, laughter, happiness, friendship, brotherhood; act as son, as a father, as a mother for that matter, as a friend, always. The good is right there, shinning, almost calling you and pointing the right way. Just believe, seek out for it, conquer.

I am very grateful to have people like you around me, and I thank this life for the opportunity. I thank this life for it gave me the right to choose and I chose wisely. I thank this life for my family, for my friends, for my son and daughters, for my wife. I truly extend this feeling towards the greatest person alive today, my father, who's unconditional support I admire and for the one no longer with us (physically) the great, perfect, loving mother, Maruja Lahrssen. Today I thank you all for being part of my life and for letting me share this with you.

Tomorrow Marujita will have her first spinal injection, which by what I hear it is extremely painful. She will have local anesthesia of course, but I don't know if she will be asleep. As I mentioned before, this is the most effective way to inject the stem cells because they go straight to where we want them to go. Hopefully the five remaining injections, including this one, will be spinal.

Until we meet next, and while I keep updating this, my very best to all of you today and forever!

Tuto.