Days Go Slower and Slower

It seems time is taking some time because days, hours, minutes don't seem to pass. Most of our friends have returned home already and it's only four of us who usually get together to go out. The new people that have arrived here are from different countries and do not socialize at all. I guess that there are no more families with kids so it's a little different. When we got here, we where five families with kids and basically treating our kids for the exact same condition.


We went out last night to a local market where we could find Chinese arts and crafts among other stuff. I have become a fan of green tea, so I bought different kinds to try them out. I bought green tea as well as Jasmin tea which in particular caught my attention. The Jasmin tea comes from a flower, so basically the tea consists of the dried flower that looks almost like a little ball, a marble perhaps, but when mixed with hot water it opens up and delivers the flavor. It is very good and I was told it is very healthy.


The main difference with the tea they drink here is that forget about the little tea bags where the crushed leave is inside. Here, you will find the leaves themselves and sometimes seeds that you just mix directly with water. There are of course drinking cups in which you put these tea leaves inside a filter so you don't end up chewing them. Not the case with me, I am drinking green tea a la Chinese, leaves and all floating around my glass. I feel I am going to get some between my teeth and end up looking as if I ate guacamole with too much cilantro. Do you get the picture? Imagine one smiling after that!


A funny thing happened yesterday and I had to capture it on video. Remember how I mentioned that for the Chinese we are completely strange people and that they will stare at you just as if you where Matt Damon walking by Sawgrass Mall any given Sunday? Well, it happened to us yesterday, but they don't just stare at you, they gather and block you and start taking pictures and everything, it's very weird but very interesting to experience. Some even want to touch the babies which we of course do not allow; it is not a racism reaction, is just that we don't know where those hands have been, specially with a flu going around. First there is a picture of how the local market looked like, then the video so you can understand what I'm saying:

After going shopping around there, we went to a pizzeria located on West Lake. This is the same place we went for lunch last Sunday but let me tell you, there are few places where you can have a pizza as they do in this place! It's a thin crust, oven baked to perfection with just the enough amount of cheese and toppings. After all, I have to let go of the Chinese food for a while, it's what I have for lunch and dinner almost everyday at the hospital. By the way something I didn't mention before and you might be asking, is why do we spend so much time at the hospital when there are no injections. They have restrictions in terms of us going out one day before and one day after an injection, so we have to take advantage of those days that allow us to go out. The treatments for stem cell transplantation are done only Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, so if we have treatment tomorrow, we can't go out today or Saturday.


Another thing I discovered is the rooftop access for this hospital, so I went up there and took a short video of how this part of Hangzhou looks like. This area is called Xiaoshan and it is within the city of Hangzhou.

Marujita is having her sixth stem cell treatment tomorrow (fifth spinal), and the last one will take place next Wednesday. I guess everything will be good because she can be properly sedated now and shouldn't feel a thing. All I hope is that she will sleep because if she sleeps, we sleep; if she doesn't sleep, we don't sleep, very simple. And FYI, I think I have slept not interrupted two nights only, so I will take revenge when I get back to Miami. I'm tired, really tired.


Here's a picture with one of the nurses (there must be around twelve in total) taken on the night we had a little party for Pedro who was going back home the next day.

All I can say right now is that I miss my kids very bad. I miss my family, I miss my friends, my house, my bed, my shower, my car, my office, damn, I miss everything so much! Hopefully this eight days remaining will pass quickly so we can go back home and rest for the weekend while we get our lives back to schedule. It took me around three days to get used to the twelve hour difference, and I am not expecting something different once we are back in Miami.


I will tell you all about the spinal tomorrow, but for now, love you all unconditionally, always and forever.

Tuto.38

For Those on Flight 447

It was a very sad night, one that did not allow me to sleep as much. My thoughts where with the passengers and crew of Air France Flight 447, which disappeared mid air and apparently crashed into the Atlantic Ocean. For up to the time I am writing this, there are no confirmed reasons for such a terrible accident taking the lives of 228 people on their journey to Paris.

I've been reading a lot on the subject of fear. As you might have read on past blogs, I've described in a very simple way the differences between being a coward or a courageous person and that both bring about the same amount of fear. According to Osho's thoughts a person who's is afraid of dying, who is scared about death cannot live a happy life. He describes death as part of the process and compares the unexplained afterlife with the magic of birth. Basically, when were we born? The moment we came out and the doctor slapped our cheek, the second we were conceived, when? It is a valid question but the uncertainty of death still remains stronger on our thoughts. He emphasizes on the fact that those afraid of death will not live a fruitful life because it is pointless to avoid death; it will eventually reach us all.

I kept on thinking about it last night. Yes, I will focus on the present, I will lead a happy life and I will not let things I cannot control affect me. But what about family and friends of those victims, how are they supposed to manage such a loss? How can they accept this as part of their lives, what about their aligned universe? If things happen for a reason, what could they possibly think will come about all this? I could not stop thinking and I wanted to cry so hard. My mind would not stop processing, it would not stop thinking and I am not pretty sure how much or what will I get from this experience. I thought about it as some sort of meditation, but how can you engage in a sadly meditation, one that does not allow you to focus? It was hard, and still is.

I guess that this whole experience of coming to China has let open a big whole on my vulnerability allowance. I have heard about tragedies before, much worse things have happen and more suffering has been involved. I have experience a huge loss myself, but for some reason, this kept banging on my door consistently and predominantly. I wanted to sleep but at the same time I didn't. I let pain come in completely welcomed, I understood the reason and I accepted it. Although this does not relate directly to me, and thank God it did not, I felt for everyone who will be permanently affected by this terrible accident.

All I hope now is for the reason to be found, what caused the airplane to crash, for the famous "black box" to appear so those affected can start closing this chapter in their lives. Also, for the safety of future travel because this is something that we will continue to do, regardless.

I am pretty sure that you have heard that traveling by commercial airplanes is much safer than driving a car. That the probability of getting in an accident on your way to the airport are far greater than that involving your flight. In the past ten years, the probabilities of air travel accidents has reduced dramatically, from a 1.8 in a million to 0.4 in a million. That is great to hear. Does it make me feel better, not at all. Is it going to make friends and families of the victims feel better, safer, I don't think so.

So today I take my time and abuse your own, to dedicate our thoughts to these people. To the ones who left their beautiful lives and for the ones who were waiting for them. It is a horrible and sad story, but we cannot ignore it. It happened to them and it happened to us. No matter if you pray, meditate, talk with your loved ones or simply write about it, we need to think about this for a moment and we have to thank for the opportunity we where given to enjoy this beautiful life.

Simple things was the title of my previous blog. This is such a turnover, a one-eighty you might say, because this is no simple thing, this is huge. All we can do is live our present, forget our past and do not think about the future. All we can do is live; do not conjugate the verb, leave it alone.

For the first time I will like for everyone, and I really mean everyone to please write a little paragraph on the comment area of my blog. Regardless if you want to express yourself in English or Spanish (or "spanglish" for that matter) I kindly ask for you to do so. It will not only help yourself, it will allow others to see things from different perspectives, helping each other.

I will leave you with these thoughts and thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to read my blog, it truly means a big deal to me.

Love you unconditionally, always and forever.

Tuto.38

Simple Things

Simple things

We take pleasure in the simple things

We take pride in little victories
And we wear our simple crowns

Oh, tugs of war, we battle ships and thunderstorms

And naked is our uniform

It’s our simple hand-me-down

It's just blows my mind off when you experience the laws of attraction. If you haven't read "The Secret" or watched the movie/documentary, laws of attraction means that all that we really desire and everything we set our positive minds to, we attract, it will come a reality. Basically, we attract all those things we put our heart and trust into; you must picture yourself in your mind, experiencing that which you want, and it will be yours, guaranteed. That is the simplest way to describe it I believe, but let me tell you it has surprised me more than once and it's a very fascinating thing to happen. You must believe though, you have to trust it will become a reality for it to present itself, but it does happens. Give it a try, start by watching the documentary and see for yourself that such a simple concept really works.



It works for both your material conscious mind as well as for your subjective subconscious mind. What I mean by that is, that if you want something so hard and constantly believe it will be yours, it will happen. But most importantly, the subjective part of your mind also works in the same way. If all you give is love, positiveness, optimism, truth, respect for others, this will come back at you when you least expected.



The paragraph on the beginning of this blog is a part of a song from a very talented writer and singer that I met via youtube.com. She has probably been posting videos for a long time, but it was now that I came across her music. I was not searching for anything specific, I was looking for a video that showed the guitar tabs for a song I want to learn how to play on my guitar. And for some reason, there she was; there was her music and her amazing talent, presented to me in a completely random pattern. The lyrics can not be more true, and the feeling of peace and positive mind that her music provides is something amazing, very relaxing. Her name is Amy Kuney, and if you search youtube.com for her songs, you will too be amazed.



Simple things. How many times do we take those for granted, but yet when we pay attention, it makes such an impact. I can't say this enough because for the fact that they are simple, we ignore them. Calling an old friend, enjoying a fresh squeezed orange juice instead of one from a bottle, greeting someone you don't know, writing your thoughts in a piece of paper. Simple things, yet so powerful. Go ahead, try your own version and see what happens. Live it, enjoy it, embrace it. It will make your day, I will guarantee that because it has happened to me and you and I are not different. We are both human beings who deserve a happy and gracious life. We are not machines, we have feelings and we have senses, we must exploit these senses.



I believe the universe is completely aligned with us, don't let the fear of the uncertain slow you down. After all, an uncertain simple thing has to be completely harmless, no bad can come out of it. It is its nature, its way of being and existing, no more, no less.



Marujita had a great night, she slept almost all the way through, waking up at about 6AM. But it's good because in this far away side of the world, the sun comes out at 5AM. One thing I can notice and I have no idea if its got to do with progress, is watching her smile. I think I saw her smile once, but never before. Her mood is loosing up and probably she will develop more social skills in time. Well, she has to, it's her job in this planet just by carrying that name. She has to be hyper, not letting people talk; she has to be on top of everything and everyone, just as her beautiful and loving grandmother. There is no other choice, her universe is aligned, but this time, aligned to the spirit of the most fun living person I have ever met. And I am so proud to be her son, I cannot start describing it, it will take a whole book.



Simple things; sometimes a smile is such a simple thing, but what a difference!

Tonight we have a little party for our friend Pedro who is going back home tomorrow. He is done with his boy's seven injections and ready to go back; lucky him! I will be cooking for every one tonight and I have chosen a mix no different than the place we are now. Remember Marco Polo was the first western person to come to this place, he called it "City of Heaven"? Well, in honor of Pedro, all the staff at the hospital, Marco Polo himself and all our friends, I will cook a Chinese-Italian dish. Basically, this will be a tomato-based cheese sauce, but instead of regular pasta, of course, Chinese noodles! I will tell you all bout it tomorrow, I have no idea what's going to come out of this. Chinese people are not very cheese-like, so finding a good cheese is almost impossible. I came with an idea and I hope it works, otherwise it's going to be dog food. No wait, there are no dogs in China, can anyone tell me why?

As usual, love you all unconditionally, always and forever!

Tuto.38

To Have Courage. To be a Coward.

Today I was reading a book on the subject of being afraid, the feeling of being a coward or being courageous. It is very interesting because both are considered by some, a feeling of being afraid. It is a quite complicated subject but it can be explained in simple way, or at least the way I could understand it seems to be very simple.



Basically, the difference between a coward or a courageous state of mind does not lie on the fact that the first is about being afraid and the second of being intrepid, both feel the same amount of fear. So where is the difference you might ask. The difference is that the courageous moves forward despite feeling afraid, whereas the coward freezes because of being afraid; both experience the same amount of fear. How can a courageous person not feel fear? He would have to be a machine not a human being. Only machines lack such feelings and how can you describe a machine of being afraid?



To be courageous only means that despite the fear, he can act, he can move. They utilize fear as a bridge and does not stop for the unknown. On the other hand, to be a coward means to stop, to be static, it destroys the essence, it destroys the possibility of resurrection.



Life is full of uncertainties; every step we take, every move we make is another step towards the uncertain. It's like a bet where nobody will know the results. But the fact of not knowing, the simple fact of stepping into the uncertain, the unknown, is just beauty at its core. If our lives were predictable, what's the fun in that? It would make no sense to be here, to live, to experience. We would not be human beings, we would be machines; there is certainty only for the machines. As human beings we are free, and freedom implies uncertainty and insecurity. We must be ready to respond, that is what "responsibility" is all about. It is not an obligation, it is our capacity to respond, to make decisions and to respond.



So why am I getting so deep into the matter? Very simple. I feel I made a decision that will impact my life. I feel I made a decision that will impact someone else's life. And it was not easy, I felt scared, I felt the uncertainty lying beneath myself; I was afraid, and by being afraid it will all pay off. It might pay off in the long term, but it will pay off. The courage inside me was able to beat the coward when I was presented with the uncertain, with the unknown. I stepped forward, I moved, I made a decision, I felt responsible. All this will help me to grow on the inside and more importantly, on the outside so I will have the ability to help others.



I have received messages from some friends telling me I was very courageous just by coming to this place. But let me tell you, and do not even hesitate for a second, you would've done the same thing! So guess what, we are already much the same, and I am very happy for that. I want to share with you all my thoughts in relation to my experience because even as yours might be different, all the principles are aligned; the courage and the coward inside us are present, and I know you will make the right decision. You will be responsible. And I feel the responsibility to share this with you.


Well, enough with life strategies, let's focus on the local events. Marujita had her spinal injection today, and she behaved like a champ. The needle for the IV went in pretty fast and she did not complain as much. The two sedatives did their job as she went almost numb immediately after they where supplied (one goes through the IV). The doctor said she took the spinal injection very good; she did not move nor complained during the procedure. I guess that leaves us with two more spinal injections for her before we start playing the waiting game. The next spinal will be given next Friday June 5TH, followed by the last one on June 10TH. That will leave her with a total of six spinal injections and one IV which if you remember, was the first one she took.

Our friend Mike from California just gave me another video which he took last Saturday at the zoo. This is not about feeding live birds to other animals, this is actually feeding the bears with carrots. This video is particular in that I threw a piece of carrot and the bear catches it in mid air, just as a trained dog. Take a look.

I truly appreciate all your support and constant messages of optimism. I can't say this enough. I am forever grateful to everyone for this, and I really want to thank you today.

Love you unconditionally, always and forever.

Tuto.38